Negativity around midlife and the myths surrounding it are seen every day—whether on-screen or in real life, there is always a conversation about what this era should look like. Constance Zimmer, actor, director and co-creator of the “The Midlife Monologues,” recently unpacked how we talk about midlife.
In a panel discussion with Abby Epstein, director, producer and co-creator of “The Midlife Monologues,” and moderator Julie Flakstad, the founder and host of the “Midlife Truth ProjectOtter” at the Flow Space Women’s Health Summit LA last week, Zimmer discussed why midlife is so personal and why it’s still a huge problem in Hollywood.
The panel opened with an important question: “Why is midlife a subject that’s personal to you, and really, what was your experience settling into your 40s and 50s?”
“You never know how you’re going to experience this time until you experience it,” Zimmer explained. “And normally, it’s too late, because you’re in it, and you’re freaked out, and you’re stressed out. And you’re going through all of these emotions and all of these hormonal changes and not understanding why, even though people are telling you why, but they’re still not giving you the full story.”
Zimmer went on to share her personal experiences and presented an interesting thought: “Being an actor and realizing that these women are not represented anywhere, and if they are, they’re represented in such a minute way,” Zimmer added. “And I started to realize that if I’m going through this, every single woman must be going through this.”
“Why are we not represented anywhere except when we’re represented in such a negative way from old stereotypes of age and numbers? And we are a generation of women—I’ll be very specific, but Generation X, we’re killing it,” Zimmer said.
Epstein jumped in to share her midlife experience with the panel.
“You know, there’s no on-ramp to this period of life,” she said. “There’s a whole spiritual journey around it. It might start for you at three. It might start for you at 45, it might not start till 50. You know, for me, I think it started probably around 44 when I separated from my partner and became a single mom. That’s probably when it really was the most intense.”
And that’s when “The Midlife Monologues” was birthed—it’s a docu-theater celebration and realization of women navigating midlife, per the official Instagram. Zimmer and Epstein sit in circles with women to hear vulnerable “dressing room confessionals.” There, women talk about things that they haven’t shared with their closest friend or their therapist, even with their partner.
“It creates, like, an immediate community,” Zimmer noted. “It’s that club you never knew you wanted to be a part of. But I’ve never been more grateful to be a part of this club. If this club is midlife, this is fucking glorious, because all of you women are fucking amazing.”
Flakstad pivoted the conversation into Hollywood and asked, “What are the big gaps, and how do we create the sense of urgency?”
“We can put it on stage to prove how important these stories are and how incredible this time is in a woman’s life, and make the next generations excited about getting here,” Zimmer said. She also noted that Hollywood also has a lot of issues regarding how women look. “We’re not allowed to age. My biggest problem right now in the business is just let us age.”
“Just let us show up as who we are and don’t devalue us for that. Praise us,” Zimmer emphasized. “Don’t give all the roles to the women who still look 20; don’t have a 50 year old play a 70 year old. You know what I’m saying?”
