I play this game where when some new, odd physical sensation happens to me: I question whether or not it’s a perimenopause symptom. Three years into this rollercoaster, I still find myself perplexed and surprised. Itchy feet? Perimenopause. Grape flavors now taste like metal? Perimenopause. So the other day, when my husband was snacking on some crispy crackers that led to a symphony of auditory discomfort for me, I joked that my newfound misophonia (an irritation or sensitivity to certain sounds that can trigger an angry or anxious fight-or-flight reaction) must be due to perimenopause. We laughed. But then I looked it up. Older research has discovered that estrogen can actually impact the way our brains process sound, so lower rates of estrogen during perimenopause can make our hearing hypersensitive.
Trust me when I tell you, my hearing is extra hypersensitive sensitive. But instead of discovering some kind of cool superpower that allows me to hear across large distances, my ears now pick up every chomp, slurp, lick, smack, crunch, and gulp of people around me. I never used to be sensitive to, or even very aware of, the noises others made while eating. But in the last couple of months, my poor husband can’t get more than a couple bites in before I physically cringe, the noises emanating from his mouth causing me to react like hearing nails on a chalkboard, regardless of how mindfully and quietly he tries to eat.
It turns into a cycle of emotions: He feels bad because clearly the noises are making me uncomfortable. I feel guilty because it’s not his fault and I don’t want it to impact his ability to enjoy his meals. And, if I can’t find a way to distract myself from zeroing in on the sloppy sounds, my anxiety or even anger will peak, which never feels good.
While the symptoms suck, the actual science behind my misophonia is pretty cool. Studies have shown that our brains’ estrogen activity changes during perimenopause. The exact reason hasn’t been discovered yet, but research has found that people going through perimenopause may experience hearing loss or changes in their hearing sensitivity due to estrogen’s impact on blood flow to the inner ear and auditory pathways. For some people, this might show up as tinnitus — an awful internal ringing or buzzing noise — or even hearing loss. In my case, I’ve become extra sensitive to even the most mundane sounds.
When this first happened, my husband recalled that 18 years ago, when I was pregnant with our son, I also had increased sensitivity to his eating, both the smell and the sound of it all. I had completely forgotten that I used to ask if he minded eating by himself near an open window with the fan blowing any smells out of the food. I had awful morning (and afternoon and evening) sickness for the first few months of my pregnancy, and while the majority of my triggers were food smells, I also found myself getting nauseous just hearing people eat. It passed midway through my second trimester and I never really thought of it again, chalking it up to a strange pregnancy symptom. But almost two decades later, I wondered if it was all connected.
My hormones were certainly in flux during pregnancy, and perhaps my chaotic estrogen levels impacted how my brain processed sounds for those couple of months. And now, as my hormone levels are all over the place, I’m back to having hypersensitive hearing. It’s not even always food related. Sometimes the drip, drip, drip of a faucet that wasn’t fully shut off will burrow its way into my brain. In the midst of our current heatwave, the once calming white noise of air conditioners now brings with it brrrrumps and crackles that weave in and out of my ears and bother me. ASMR videos, which I once listened to as a soothing habit, have the exact opposite effect on me, leaving me more anxious and out of sorts.
There’s not a ton I can do to address this new perimenopause symptom. Occasionally I turn up the volume on the music we’re listening to so I have a louder sound to focus on. Sometimes, if I focus really hard, I can avoid zeroing in on the offending noise, but that can get exhausting. Just like many of my perimenopause-related symptoms, this is not a constant affliction, but rather ebbs and flows along with my chaotic hormones — that part is a small relief. And I’m certainly thankful I have a husband that rolls with the punches and can laugh along with me as I navigate the weird world that is perimenopause.
So, until the next new and surprising symptom reveals itself, I’ll be here, doing my best to block out the increasingly annoying noises that nobody else seems to notice but me.