Who can forget experiencing raging hormones as a teenager? A broken pen was just cause for a total meltdown; a B on a homework assignment made you sob uncontrollably. It was a rollercoaster of highs and lows, combined with acne, confusion and anger.
A few decades later, and now perimenopausal women are breaking down in the cereal aisles of grocery stores across the globe, seeing red all over again.
But while hormones are back at the helm, most women are woefully underprepared for the changes our minds and bodies undergo during this phase of life.
With all this pent-up anger and nowhere to feel our feelings, women are experimenting with a new trend, perimenopausal rage rituals, as a way to unleash their fury in safe and supportive environments. But do these activities work, and if so, do they have staying power?
Awareness, education and support for women in perimenopause and menopause are slowly gaining momentum, in large part due to people sharing their experiences on social media and female celebrities’ involvement in the movement. More women are learning what type of care is available and how to access it, but for some, treatments such as hormone replacement therapy (HRT), anti-depressants and lifestyle changes alone don’t address the intense feelings of anger and irritability that occur when estrogen and progesterone levels begin to decline.
“You name it, I tried it,” said Tammy Sons, a plant expert and nursery owner in Nashville, Tennessee, tells Flow Space. “Finally, I saw a therapist who told me that I was experiencing peri-rage.”
Perimenopausal rage isn’t a catchphrase; it’s a very real emotional response to the natural psychological and physiological changes women face in their 40s or early 50s, such as insomnia, hot flashes, decreased libido and feelings of grief, anxiety and depression.
“Perimenopausal rage is your body screaming for balance, for understanding and for relief,” says Dr. Michelle Sands, a board-certified naturopathic physician with a specialization in women’s hormone health, a highly sought-after expert on female hormones and anti-aging, and cofounder of GLOW Natural Wellness.
“When a woman’s hormone levels drop, it can lead to an increase in cortisol—the stress hormone—and a decrease in serotonin and dopamine, our natural mood stabilizers,” Sands tells Flow Space. “The result? We feel like a pressure cooker ready to blow.”
It’s worth noting that 5% of women go through early menopause, which occurs between the ages of 40 and 45, and 1% experiences premature menopause—also known as premature ovarian insufficiency (POI)—before they even celebrate their 40th birthday, generally due to certain health conditions or genetics. For reference, the average age women reach menopause, meaning that they have gone 12 full months without a menstrual period, in the U.S. is 51 years old; but it’s not uncommon for the transition to menopause, AKA perimenopause, to last four to 10 years—bringing 34 (and counting) potential symptoms, such as hot flashes, vaginal dryness and night sweats, along for the ride.
But hormonal and chemical goings-on aside, there are also a host of situational factors that accompany the 40- and 50-something years that could make a person want to, well, rage. A 2008 study published in the Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience found that irritability is the most common perimenopause symptom for 70% of women; while the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) states approximately four in 10 women have mood symptoms similar to PMS.
Unlike PMS, these symptoms can occur for years with no warning and no pattern—and perimenopause rage often feels quite different than typical anger or frustration.
Thanks to fluctuating estrogen levels, a decrease in serotonin and falling levels of progesterone, you can go from feeling stable to intensely resentful or irritated in a mere matter of moments, and friends and family will likely notice a drastic loss of patience, as well as extensive mood swings. This type of hormonal imbalance can spark spontaneous and difficult-to-control episodes of rage known as perimenopausal mood instability.
Strategies to tame your perimenopausal rage exist, and by asking for help, you can start to get your hormones balanced again and regain control of your moods. Hormone replacement therapy is one of the more common medications prescribed to treat perimenopausal mood instability symptoms, but other pills and/or patches can help too. More and more, doctors are advocating for a holistic approach to battling symptoms, including exercise, mediation, getting better sleep and other. types of lifestyle changes.
A relatively new concept that has spread like wildfire on TikTok is the perimenopausal rage ritual, which ranges from screaming and beating sticks in a forest to more calming activities like practicing mindfulness and therapeutic massages.
The driving force behind this cultural movement is the fact that women have been taught to minimize health conditions and suppress anger. Finding outlets to freely express and expel these emotions felt “liberating” to Sons, who attended a three-day perimenopausal rage retreat at the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. “It’s a way to reclaim your power and say, ‘I’m here, I’m angry and I’m not hiding it.'”
Unless you live in an urban area, planning a trip to an open space to release your perimenopausal rage may be geographically possible. However, there’s no guarantee you’ll be alone enough to let go fully. The key differences with rage retreats are being in a private setting and finding community and solidarity with women who are experiencing similar symptoms and feelings. Soms echoes this sentiment. “You don’t feel alone anymore. It was like [the other women] were inside my mind, reading my thoughts…”
Like any new trend, some naysayers aren’t fans of screaming into the void, noting that women aren’t learning any long-term coping skills to help them navigate the unpredictable bouts of perimenopausal anger.
Heather Florio, sexpert and CEO of all-natural supplement and skin care brand Desert Harvest, advocates an integrative approach that can be incorporated into your daily routine.
“Explore different modalities—from pelvic therapy to nutritional therapy and even counseling—to help support you through these changes. Tools such as resistance training, yoga and stress management can help us when it comes time to manage this next chapter [in our lives],” she said.
While perimenopausal women can find solace in breaking the silence through rage rituals to minimize feelings of isolation, Sands reminds us that the path to navigating our unique set of perimenopausal symptoms is also a personal one.
“In the end, any activity that helps women to feel seen, heard and understood is a step towards genuine relief.”